


It's An Art Form

by hexmaniacchoco



Series: April Fool's! I still haven't come up with a title yet [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Tries, Dean Winchester and Feelings, Languages, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, Mornings in the Bunker, Or at least he tries to be, Protective Castiel, Sam is the Voice of Reason, Team Free Will, Tentacles, and the subsequent avoidance of them, and therefore ignored
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 02:16:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12761034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hexmaniacchoco/pseuds/hexmaniacchoco
Summary: An otherwise peaceful morning in the bunker is disturbed when an unexpected guest shows up.





	It's An Art Form

It’s a quiet morning in the bunker. Sam is sitting in the library with a hot cup of coffee and an interesting book on lore from around the world. There’s some quiet conversation being murmured from a doorway and the sound of silverware getting jostled on the plates they rest on as Cas and Dean walk in with the breakfast Dean had just prepared for everyone. Nothing fancy, just some omelettes with bacon and toast. They set the plates down on the table, and Dean thanks Cas for helping out as they sit down to eat. Sam thanks them both for making it this time around--though he knows Dean always enjoys cooking it anyway--and picks up his knife and fork to dig in. The octopus stretches a long tentacle toward his plate, perturbed at not having been brought one. Those omelettes smell good.  
  
Sam jumps back and lets out a startled yell.  
  
“Holy shit!”  
  
Dean and Cas jump up as well, Dean with his fork at the ready just in case. The octopus is startled by the sudden hostility ( _rude_ ), and scuttles off the table and away.  
  
Sam is catching his breath, his hand on his chest. “ _What the hell was that!?_ ”  
  
“It was an octopus,” Cas informs him. He’s still looking at the table with curiosity.  
  
“Yeah, we know, Cas, but what the hell was it doing on a table in our library?” Dean replies, also looking at the table where the octopus had apparently been nonchalantly chilling without anyone having noticed somehow, except with less curiosity and a little more panic. Actually, he was almost certain that the octopus had _not_ been there when he and Cas had entered the room and sat down. Which meant it had either been hiding or else had just appeared there. Neither seemed good.  
  
Cas looks down for a second. “That is a better question.”  
  
Everyone switches between staring awkwardly at the spot where the octopus had been, and looking at each other, before Dean pulls his chair back to him and takes a seat.  
  
“Whatever the reason,” he says, looking between his brother and Cas and picking up his knife and fork and cutting into the still warm omelette on his plate, “we’ll figure it out after we eat.”  
  
Sam and Cas just nod and take their seats again, focusing once more on the breakfast in front of them. Except the sound of Dean cutting into his omelette has stopped,  not as if he’d taken a bite, but suddenly--as if something were wrong. Sam and Cas look up from their plates and to Dean, and then down to his plate upon seeing his look of utter confusion and concern. He had opted to cut his omelette in half first, and something red and chunky looking was now spilling out of it. Sam quirks an eyebrow up and looks back at Dean. “...Something wrong?” he asks. “Or have you realized, like I have after the initial shock wore off, that maybe we _should_ actually be looking for the random octopus that showed up on our table a few seconds ago?”  
  
Dean keeps staring at his plate.  
  
“That’s not what he filled the omelettes with,” Cas offers helpfully.  
  
Now Sam looks back down to the red and chunky stuff in Dean’s omelette, and it seems much more ominous and gross now that he has that context. He looks back down at his own plate with thinned lips, and slowly puts his fork and knife down. Cas in the meantime cuts into his own omelette and finds the same substance inside. He cuts a piece off and eats it, chewing thoughtfully. Sam and Dean grimace.  
  
“Dude…”  
  
“It’s perfectly edible,” Cas explains while chewing.  
  
Sam looks even more repulsed, especially when his brother picks up his fork and gingerly cuts off a piece, gives it a careful sniff, and then stuffs it into his mouth with a shrug.  
  
“It’s ketchup, Sam…” Dean says around his food, “And… rice?”  
  
Cas nods and takes another bite. Dean looks between him and Sam and back to his plate to take another bite as well. “It ain’t all that bad.  Kinda delicious actually.”  
  
“That’s great I guess, but I mean, shouldn’t we be looking for the octopus or something?” Sam repeats his earlier concern.  
  
Dean gives his brother a halfway offended look. Maybe the breakfast had changed but that didn’t mean he and Cas didn’t make it. “I’m not letting a perfectly good breakfast go to waste on account of the weird-shit-of-the-day,” he answers, before returning to his toast. Cas just shrugs and continues eating.  
  
Sam stares at the both of them for a second before shaking his head and trying the suddenly different omelette for himself. It turns out, it really is pretty good.

* * *

  
After finishing the ketchup and rice stuffed omelettes they were suddenly presented with, and the thankfully-still-bacon bacon and the toast, they were now searching around the bunker for anywhere the mysterious abrupt octopus might have gotten to. For all they knew it had simply vanished as unknowingly as it had shown up, but they still had to be sure. It had been roughly an hour, but they hadn’t gotten terribly far considering they needed to be thorough. Octopuses are clever after all, and can get into all sorts of places and even camouflage themselves. They couldn’t be too careful.  
  
They started out in the direction they’d seen it go, and now they were getting close to determining that it probably wasn’t in the library anymore, nor in a few of the small nearby rooms. They stand around for a moment debating where to check next.  
  
“Do you think it might be in the kitchen?” Dean asks. “That’s kinda nearby and has plenty of hiding spaces…”  
  
Sam scratches his chin. “Maybe…”  
  
“Considering its primary mode of transport is jet propulsion in water, I doubt it could have made it much farther than that at this point in time,” Cas tells them. He looks at Dean and makes eye contact, and Dean… blushes and looks away. Cas considers this unusual, but there isn’t any time to question it.  
  
“Y-yeah, sounds about right,” Dean mumbles. He fidgets with his hands and Sam and Cas both give him a look before glancing at each other.  
  
“Um… yeah, so… I guess we’ll make our way to the kitchen,” Sam agrees, still eyeing his brother.  
  
Dean seems to get flustered at all the scrutiny of his behavior and looks back and forth between Sam and Cas. “W-What? I got somethin’ on my face? Let’s go!” he blusters, pushing past them to head towards the hall leading toward the kitchen. Sam and Cas exchange one more look of general confusion and raised eyebrows before following behind him.  
  
The trip to the kitchen is short and quiet, and the few supply closets they come across all seem to be devoid of their new tentacled housemate. One such closet hilariously had a mop fall onto Dean as the door opened, causing him to shout and jump backwards, flailing and swatting at the mop and shouting that the octopus was attacking him. Sam and Cas stood and laughed as Dean stared in offense at the mop now on the floor in front of him, arms crossed and his face burning a bright red. Now that they reached the kitchen though, they were once again serious.  
  
A brief survey of the room shows no signs of any cephalopods of any variety. The three of them shift their attention in unison to a nearby pantry with its door slightly open. “Dean, did you leave that open like that?” Sam asks.  
  
Dean shakes his head. “I don’t remember, but… we might as well check it out,” he answers. He diffidently looks over at Cas. “Uh… Cas, you wanna… take it this time…?”  
  
Cas smiles at Dean, and Dean’s face becomes red again. “Of course, Dean…” he tells him warmly. Sam looks at them with some amusement, and then gets himself ready as Cas slowly opens the pantry door, just in case the octopus really is in there and … well… maybe he doesn’t really need to be ready to take on an octopus that’s like two feet tall and isn’t even in the water. But still. Preparedness is good.  
  
When the door is fully opened, there doesn’t appear to be anything inside, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t. They look carefully at the various items and inspect the space behind some foods on a shelf, but ultimately the octopus isn’t there. They all sigh in frustration. However, upon leaving the pantry Dean notices a puddle of water on the counter by the sink. “Well I sure as hell know I didn’t leave _that_ there,” he says, as he approaches the counter in a weird sort of cautious swagger. He puts his hand on the edge and slowly leans forward before suddenly rushing to its other side, hoping to catch the normally-sea creature by surprise.  
  
“You found it?” Sam asks hopefully. His face falls a little in disappointment when Dean just stands there with a puzzled expression. “I’m… guessing not.” He and Cas walk over to Dean’s side to see what’s perplexing him so much.  
  
“It’s a trail desu,” Cas says and then draws his eyebrows together at his words.  
  
“What?” Dean and Sam ask at the same time.  
  
Cas looks perturbed and tries again. “It’s a… trail……..desu…”  
  
Now it’s Sam and Dean’s turn to give each other confused looks. “What’s the uh, the ‘desu’ part, Cas?” Sam asks.  
  
“I...” Cas replies, looking up at them, utterly baffled.  He shakes his head quickly and continues, “It’s to the best of my knowledge a Japanese copula, but I have no idea why I’m saying it.”  
  
Sam is still confused but slowly nods, but Dean looks completely taken aback. “A copu-- a copul-- a copul- _what now_ ?” he sputters. His face is bright red again, and Cas is about to ask why that is and why he’s been so easily thrown off balance when Sam starts laughing.  
  
“A _copula_ , Dean. It’s just something that connects other words in a sentence… like subjects with predicates. Also I thought that’d be something you’d be, you know, joking about. Not freaking out about. You ok?” he teases. He makes a motion to push his glasses further up the bridge of his nose with two fingers, but fumbles when there are no glasses there to push. He’s bewildered by the involuntary action.  
  
“O-oh…” Dean says.  
  
Cas drops his inquiry for the time being, as it seems everyone is acting strangely and no one seems to have any answers, least of all Dean. They follow the trail of water, and it seems to go down the hall leading to the bedrooms. They stop at the doorway. Dean turns back to the kitchen.  
  
“Is something wrong, Dean?” Cas asks him.  
  
“No, it’s just… it’s pretty clear this trail’s gonna lead us right to Nemo or whatever--”  
  
“Nemo is a clownfish, Dean,” Sam corrects. He fights the strange urge to push his nonexistent glasses up again.  
  
“Not the point, Sam,” Dean says, continuing unfazed by the rude interruption. “Nemo is probably at the end of that trail, so that means we don’t need to worry as much about finding him…”  
  
Sam turns his head slightly, confused. “Yeah… so we should continue following it and catch up to the 蛸 as soon as we can, right…?”  
  
“The… the what?” Dean asks.  
  
“The octopus,” Cas translates. “For some reason, Sam said it in Japanese.”  
  
Sam blinks, still a little thrown. “The た... the た..... _the たぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁOCTOPUS _ ” he finally manages. He huffs and brushes the hair out of his face. “Let’s just go find the … the _ たぁぁoctopus _ . This all started when it showed up, I’d bet it’s got something to do with it.”  
  
There’s a loud grumbling noise that comes from Dean’s stomach in reply. He laughs and scratches the back of his head. “Well… maybe we can stop for a quick snack first. There are some donuts just over in that cabinet. Let’s have a few.”  
  
“Dean--”  
  
“I agree completely, Dean,” Cas says, smiling another bright smile at him. The smile doesn’t match the vexation he’s feeling. He doesn’t agree. He agrees with Sam. Why are they stopping to eat a snack when they’ve only just eaten an hour ago? But stopping for a snack would make ディーン happy, and for some reason, even though it’s a completely not serious situation, that’s all he cares about. If he can make Dean happy, then it’ll serve to strengthen their bond, bringing them even closer together than they were previously.  
  
“Thanks, Cas,” Dean smiles shyly in return, looking up at him through his eyelashes. The sight makes Cas’ heart 胸の中でドキドキするんだ. He can’t seem to stop staring at Dean, who seems to be in a similar predicament. Thankfully Sam is there to help.  
  
“Ok fine, whatever, let’s stop and eat donuts even though that makes absolutely no sense at all,” Sam grumbles, pinching the bridge of his nose. When fifteen seconds have passed and neither Cas nor Dean had moved, he grabs their arms and drags them towards the aforementioned cabinet. Dean opens it in a grand and excited way, but his mouth falls open and his eye twitches as he sees what’s inside. He hears Sam fall over in surprise. Cas stands there blinking at it. Instead of the container being full of donuts, it’s full of these weird little white triangle shaped things with a thick black stripe on them.  
  
Dean pulls the container out of the cabinet and warily places it on the counter. The three of them stare at it for a second before Dean finally opens it and pulls out a triangle. It’s soft and made of rice, it seems, and the stripe is actually some kind of really dark green paper or something, wrapped vertically over the base of the triangle.  
  
“What are they?” Sam wonders.  
  
“I don’t know,” Cas answers.  
  
“I do,” Dean says with a confidence that adds further surprise to the situation. “They’re… uh… well, I don’t actually know what they’re called, but I’ve seen ‘em before in, uh… well…” He blushes profusely again and trails off.  
  
“That’s so helpful, Dean,” Sam deadpans.  
  
Dean ignores him and takes a bite out of the triangle. “It’s not bad,” he says. Cas takes one to try as well, and Sam hesitantly joins them. He’s not sure how wise it is to be going along so easily with all the strange events occurring, but he didn’t see any harm in it either. And Dean was right-- the rice triangles were somehow pretty tasty for just being rice. There was some kind of a tart… something… in the center… fruit, maybe? Whatever it was, it was good.  
  
Dean notices a few grains of the sticky rice stuck to the side of Cas’ mouth and before he realizes his actions, he’s got his hand placed gently on the side of his face so that he can wipe the stray rice away with his thumb. When he’s done, he quickly pulls his hand back and blushes. Sam is looking between them again with that weird, unbelieving  look he sometimes gives them, but it’s worth it in Dean’s opinion when a pink flush of Cas’ own spreads across his cheeks. Dean thinks he looks so kawaii like that… and… wait--did he just say what he thinks he did...? He shakes his head slightly, nonplussed by well--everything today thus far.  
  
“Oh, thank you, Dean,” Cas mumbles, turning his head down in an attempt to hide the blush.  
  
“‘S no problem,” Dean replies with a fake confidence mustered from the hopes that said confidence will clear the conversation of awkwardness.  
  
It does not.  
  
They finish their おにぎり and are about to head out when Sam stops them this time. The rice made him a little thirsty. So if they were going to waste time anyway… “Hang on a second guys, I’m gonna grab a beer quickly. Either of you want one before we continue?”  
  
“Sure,” they reply. シャーム walks over to the fridge and opens it, and a small drop of sweat runs down the side of his face. He should have known this would happen.  
  
“Sam?”  
  
“Everything is… grape soda for some reason,” Sam answers dejectedly. He closes the 冷蔵庫 and sighs, his posture sagging just a little. “Let’s just keep going then.” Dean pats him on the shoulder.  
  
They continue to follow the trail down the hall toward the bedrooms. Soon, they come to a stop as the water trail disappears behind a door, and it turns out they’re right outside Dean’s room.  
  
“Don’t tell me…” Dean starts. He doesn’t finish though because he already knows. The タコ is in his room. He groans loudly. “Better not have touched any of my stuff…”  
  
“ディーン I don’t think it cares about your stuff,” Sam says, and without waiting for any further interruptions or debates, he ディーンの部屋にドアをあける.  
  
And there the octopus was, not hidden at all but in fact tripled in size and sitting on Dean’s bed, waving enlarged tentacles all over the place in an intimidating frenzy. But what bowled over the three of them were that each of the 八 tentacles had an odd-looking コンドーム on them. A discarded box of Galactic キャップ was lying amidst scattered wrappers at the side of the bed.  
  
ディーン sputters for a few moments before finally jabbing an accusatory finger at the troublesome 蛸. “What do you think you’re doing wearing those?!”  
  
The 蛸 uses one of its 触手 to make the gesture of pulling down its bottom eyelid. _Baaaaka_ , it thinks to itself.  もちろん, 理由は it had somehow wound up in this strange 場所, and surrounded by these three clearly hostile creatures no less, so it needed protection. It reminisces about its journey briefly. Thankfully the beasts had been too preoccupied by their food to chase it right away, so when it felt too dry after making its way across the 図書館, it decided to find a water source to get a nice long drink and take a quick bath to rehydrate.  
  
There happened to be one nearby in the form of a kitchen sink, but when the octopus saw the trail of 水 it was leaving, it knew it was only a matter of time before those 化物 found it. So began its quest for protection, and 防衛 is what it found. ボックスの表ではっきりと書かれていたの, claiming even to be the best. 捜し求めている物がどれかの獣の巣窟ではあるのちょうど起こった。 Unfortunate, but there was nothing to be done about it except stand its ground. At least これ場所の水 seems to have allowed it to grow somehow. Maybe it could take them on. It lashes out at them with a few of its tentacles, satisfied when they take a few steps back.  
  
「俺に頼んだぜ、ディーンちゃん。」 Cas tells him, pushing him back with his arm and stepping in front of him.  
  
ディーンは「キャっ-- キャス…」 とどもる。  
  
キャスは、注意深く拡げた手で、蛸に歩く。 「あの、こんにちは、タコさん。」と言うのが努める。 But the panicking octopus reacts swiftly and scoops him up with one of its giant tentacles, wrapping another one around him for good measure. The tentacle snakes under his coat and shirt while it coils around him, until finally the Galactic キャップ covered tip is peeking out from his shirt collar. It wriggles a little further up to cover Cas' mouth. キャスは兄弟がショックの顔をして見えると思ってが、翻しながら、判じりにくいだ。  
  
ディーンは、ドラマチックに泣き出して、涙が頬にはねかしてきらきらして、「キャス！」と叫ぶ。 He reaches toward キャス and charges the octopus. 「貴様!」とどなる。しかし、ディーンはキャスほどやすく捕らわれる。 He struggles as tentacles wrap around and between his legs, then work their way up his body, but he realizes it’s no use as one gets itself around his head and covers his eyes. 今シャームの番、でもシャームはこの喧嘩を勝てないわかる。 He gulps and raises his arms up, and decides to try to reason with it.

  
「ねっ-- ねぇ... タコさん... 俺たちはタコさんに痛めるつもりない。わかる？」 he tries. 蛸がディーンとキャスが翻しやめるから、シャームのは構想果せそうだ。「今朝単に驚くんだった。 It’s um… unusual to see an octopus out of the ocean or you know… water, like--at all, let alone in our bunker’s _library_.  タコさんに別に安楽ないでしょう...だろう？」

  
蛸はシャームに目を細めそうだ、そしてディーンとキャスにグリップを緩める。  
  
ディーンは触手が口の回りにょろにょろしながら “Sammy keep going! I think you’re getting tomphitfff--” と話すことを断つ。蛸はシャームの話すことだけをきっぱり聞きたい。  
  
シャームは「えっ--えぇと、手伝ってあげたいんだ。それだけです。タコさんが海に戻って手伝う、でもそれ前にキャスとディーンを放してください。」と言い切る。蛸が何かがするかもしれないから、躊躇って腕を低める。しかし蛸にシャームたちがやさしいを説得したといいんです。キャスとディーンを蛸が遂に放すまで、シャームと蛸は お互いに 見つめ合うの長い瞬間がある。  
  
キャスと立ち上がりながら、ディーンはスパッタリングする、口を拭う。キャスの腕を捕らえて、シャームに駆けつける。 そんなに翻すのあと息をちょっと切って「サンキュね...」と言う。  
  
シャームは「どういたしまして。でもこの蛸が早く海に戻って手伝おう。」と返事する。  
  
ディーン、キャスはこっくりとうなずくが、シャームの惜しくさにお互いに目を合わせる。部屋がライトピンクなもやもやと煙霧に漲って、論理的な原初がないそよ風によって運ぶの桜の花びらがどこからともなく舞い落ちると、シャームは苦情をどれもこれも忘れる。風はキャスのトレンチコート、キャスの、ディーンのも髪を吹く。  
  
「キャス...」  
  
「ディーン...」  
  
シャームは「シャーム...」と息の下でつぶやく。にらめっこをよほど拓く、でも彼らお互いに向かうんだ。シャームは凍りつく。ディーンはキャスにややつまずく、そしてキャスの腕の中でやさしくとつ捕まる。ディーンの手がキャスの胸倚ると同時にキャスがディーンの肩を持つ。キャスは隻手でディーンのウエストの回り巻きつける。 ディーンの顔は真っ赤、それでも照れ性も楽観的もだ。そうした中でキャスのは愛情と感心でいっぱいだ。シャームは離れて顔から流れ花びらを叩く、蛸にじっくり部屋の外に出てついてくるのが手真似する。蛸は蛸の後ろだけキャスとディーンにまごまご用心深いちらっと見る、論じないでシャームをついて行く。 出てのあと、ドアが静かなクリックで閉まる。そしてディーンとキャスの二人だけでディーンの部屋がいる。  
  
ディーンはキャスの目で道に迷いので、離れて視線を引き裂きない。顔の暑い気持ちがいかに頬を紅潮させれば、あるいはキャスの息によってば見分けない。 彼らはお互いに近づく、もう彼らの間に半フィート以内だけがある。  
  
キャスはディーンのまつげとか、多いそばかすとか、くちびるの曲線を目でなぞりふける。指でか、なお良い、キャスの自分のくちびるでか、それらがてら物理的になぞりたいんだ。 彼らの間に益々損減し距離を詰め始めるが、突如 the flower petals stop falling around them and in fact vanish entirely from the room, and Sam hurriedly opens the door again, causing Dean to jolt away from Cas by a few feet. Cas turns to look at Sam with confusion and annoyance, and Sam pauses and looks at him sheepishly.  
  
“S-sorry… uh.. It’s just…the octopus is gone,” he says, clearing his throat to try and ease the awkwardness.  
  
“Wait, like it ran off again?” Dean asks. This was a distraction he was going to take full advantage of.  
  
“No, like… it’s just… I dunno’, gone. Disappeared, just as quick as it showed up earlier.”  
  
“The flower petals are also gone, and I believe we’ll find our speech as well as the donuts and everything else to be back to normal,” Cas adds. “The octopus must have gotten home somehow.”  
  
“That’s great and all, but how’d it even get here in the first place, and how’d it cause all that weird shit to happen to us?” Dean gripes. No one was bringing up what had almost happened a few moments ago and he was going to keep it that way.  
  
“Who knows?” Sam says, shaking his head. “Maybe we should look around the bunker to make sure nothing was opened or spilled, then hit the books to see if we can find anything about... whatever that was that happened.”  
  
“Yes…” Cas agrees, though his focus is still on Dean. He holds his gaze for a few more seconds before moving toward the door. Dean follows behind, and Cas can feel his eyes on him the whole time. Sam coughs awkwardly but leads them back to the library, where the whole thing began, to further look into the odd incident.

**Author's Note:**

> This was for [spncoldesthits](http://spncoldesthits.tumblr.com/post/167530762830/mayalaen-galactic-tentacles-spncoldesthits) of course! The Japanese was not part of the challenge, in case anyone didn't know and didn't feel like clicking on the link. The translations were done by me and were REALLY DIFFICULT. They took so long, and I started to get lazy with them, especially for the last two or three paragraphs. As such, there are probably a lot of errors. I imagine it'd be hard to read for anyone fluent in Japanese. But I tried. And that's what counts right? :P I'm nowhere near fluent lol, so translating involved consulting Google Translate and jisho.org for general vocabulary and a bit of grammar, as well as my textbooks and other websites via Google for the rest of the grammar as needed. And then I had to Google how to add translations to text so they appear when you hover your mouse over them, so now I know how to do that lol. Anyway, I hope this mess was enjoyable. Thanks for reading!


End file.
